Sin Academy Round 2: Protocol

This past Friday Dec 04th was my second time giving a workshop at Club Sin and well actually to the community as well. I decided to pick protocol as a subject. Not exactly the easiest one at all. I think this is the one term in our lifestyle so many people, specially newbies, have trouble wrapping their minds around.

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There is just not a whole lot out there as a concrete description. God knows I researched the net…in the past for myself and recently for this workshop. Now Party Protocol and Public Scene Protocol texts abound. But its how do build a protocol within a union of two or more people that is so difficult. Sure you can come up with 10 rules to stick by but that is only a fraction of what a protocol is.

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The best article I have found online are notes published from a talk Laura Antoniou gave back in 2000 entitled Establishing a Protocol.

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For some reason, although I have not had a massive amount of experience in it, I just really get the concept of it. I am ultra organized, even in my disorders. I don’t think a whole lot of people are fully experienced in protocol because it is a) exhausting to be applying such rigid rules and b) hard to find a sub who can operate under such regimentation and scrutiny. Although I am sure many do manage to live a full protocol lifestyle it is not a majority. So no I am not full protocol. I do enjoy many aspects of it though and I like the ceremony behind it.

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I have had subs were rules were much more strongly present in our dynamic then others. Right now I find myself in a more romantic circumstance with someone who is green to this lifestyle and probably more kinky then anything else. We do not have a protocol established. But we have a lot of fun.

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This last comment is to say no matter what protocol you do decide upon its has to be rebuilt (partly) a new with every new person that enters your life on such a level.  Protocol cannot work without flexibility. My new beau sometimes asks me if I can be happy with him knowing he cannot be the ultimate sub I would like. I say as long as you are kinky in general I have no issues with it (and that he is find with my tacking out my sadistic needs on someone else lol).

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If you cannot be somewhat flexible you will remain alone. Let me give you a vanilla example. If you say your future partner must want to be beaten to bruises every time, but kneel at all times, must never speak and be wet and ready 24hrs a day…its the equivalent of saying your vanilla better half must be blond, must be making so much a year, must want children and must never do overtime. Its just probably not ever going to happen. Sure certain things are really essential and you have to complete needs but give some of it a rest and widen your horizons or you may pass up a really amazing opportunity!

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