After watching and reviewing Billy Castro does the Mission (CONTEST SEE BELOW) I started asking myself….what is queer today? I knew it was nowhere near the original definition of it but this movie really had me asking myself that definition of queer seems quite larger then I remembered. Let’s investigate with Wikipedia…

A little history…

Since its emergence in the English language in the 16th century (related to the German quer, meaning “across, at right angle, diagonally or transverse”), queer has generally meant “strange,” “unusual,” or “out of alignment.” At this time it was still not associated with anything sexual. Only in the 19th century does the term start to gain its implication of sexual deviance, especially that of homosexual and/or effeminate males. Subsequently, for most of the 20th Century, “queer” was frequently used as a derogatory term for effeminate gay males who were believed to engage in receptive or passive anal/oral sex with men, and others exhibiting untraditional gender behavior.

Contemporary usage

Some use queer as an inclusive, unifying sociopolitical umbrella term for people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, transgender, transsexual, intersexual, genderqueer, or of any other non-heterosexual sexuality, sexual anatomy, or gender identity. It can also include asexual, autosexual people and those doing activities placing them outside of the heterosexual-defined mainstream such  BDSM practitioners or polyamorous persons. In this usage it retains the historical connotation of “outside the bounds of normal society” and can be construed as “breaking the rules for sex and gender.” It can be preferred because of its ambiguity, which allows “queer”-identifying people to avoid the sometimes strict boundaries that surround other labels. In this context, “queer” is not a synonym for LGBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender) as it creates a space for “queer” heterosexuals as well as “non-queer” homosexuals.

I consider myself heterosexual, maybe borderline heteroflexible. I have dommed women in sexual and non-sexual scenes. The sexual ones where not a sexual stimulous for me…the dominating part was. that ‘high’ comes from the shared energy of a scene with another human being, regardless of their sex. I have kissed maybe 3 women a bit more passionately -only 1 made me a bit more curious-, my mouth touched maybe 2 female breasts.

With my sexuality just now somewhat defined I never in my life thought I would qualify as queer, at least not before my new discoveries above. I am a BSDM practicioner and I practice activities outside of the heterosexual-defined mainstream. Me, queer? I am open and welcoming of anyone who tries anything sexualy as long as it is of legal age and consensual. I have many queer friends. But for me, my personal sexuality, I can be old fashion. Me, queer. It is a weird pill to swallow at first but it is going down.

Some say fetishists and BDSM lifestylers are the next ones up on the sociological chopping block, joining the ranks of gays and lesbians to fight for our rights and be recognized by the government. In Montreal the A.L.C.C. is trying to do just that: get a public voice for alternative lifestylers that are described above as queer. It is the only organization of it’s kind in Canada that we know of and I am proud to be part of the team trying to get it off the ground. I guess the term queer will change some more as the decades go by and new people will be welcomed under this umbrella, even unexpectant members such as I. I AM QUEER!

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CONTEST

So I received a 2nd copy of this DVD and I am giving it away to a reader. How to win?

Mandatory:

Visit this Green Sex web page and tell me what your fave listed toy is in a comment on this post.

Extra Entries:

Tweet about the contest – copy-paste below…1 entry per day!

WIN Billy Castro DVD, a Reel Queer Productions film, from @ladyevyl at http://bit.ly/crlz6V

You have till Aug 08th, 2010 midnight EST to enter. The winner will be chosen at random & announced on Aug 09, 2010 EST.

About a year ago I posted a link to a petition to fight a plan put forward by the city to clean up the red light district. The organization set up to try and save the area lost. Now the corner of St-Laurent and Ste-Catherine has always been a bit seedy and it used to be the hot spot for prostitution (they have move east already a while back).

Today, at least for now, it is an colony buzzing with artists, a few remaining XXX movie theaters, cheap restaurants, and Club Sin our local monthly fetish hang out. Actually the word “today” is already the past. I happen to walk by yesterday on my way to Chinatown and the SW corner is a husk of closed businesses. Club Sin’s fate is still up in the air as to whether it can be relocated.

Basically the city wants to tear down a bunch of run down, yet historical and touristy, buildings to make big new office towers. Until the bulldozer is scheduled to destruct the area the city has opened the store fronts to graffiti artists. I had my camera on me so I am decided to make a public record in this post of the work of these street artists.

I received this email from a vanilla friend. Had to share.
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Our 80th Anniversary as Persons!

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It is important to remember how recent it is that women in Canada were considered “persons” and how hard it was to win the “Vote.”
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November is an important month of “Remembrance” for more than veterans – an especially important anniversary to those of us of the female persuasion in Canada.
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An important history lesson!

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This is the story of women in the United States who were ground-breakers.. These brave women from the early 1900s made all the difference in the lives we live today. Remember, it was not until 1920 that Canadian women were granted the right to go to the polls and vote.
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The women were innocent and defenseless, but when, in North America, women picketed in front of the White House, carrying signs asking for the vote, they were jailed.
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And by the end of the first night in jail, those women were barely alive. Forty prison guards wielding clubs and their warden’s blessing went on a rampage against the 33 women wrongly convicted of ‘obstructing sidewalk traffic..’
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(Lucy Burns)
They beat Lucy Burns, chained her hands to the cell bars above her head and left her hanging for the night, bleeding and gasping for air.
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(Dora Lewis)
They hurled Dora Lewis into a dark cell, smashed her head against an iron bed and knocked her out cold. Her cellmate, Alice Cosu, thought Lewis was dead and suffered a heart attack. Additional affidavits describe the guards grabbing, dragging, beating, choking, slamming, pinching, twisting and kicking the women.
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Thus unfolded the ‘Night of Terror’ on Nov. 15, 1917, when the warden at the Occoquan Workhouse in Virginia ordered his guards to teach a lesson to the suffragists imprisoned there because they dared to picket Woodrow Wilson’s White House for the right to vote.
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For weeks, the women’s only water came from an open pail. Their food–all of it colorless slop–was infested with worms.
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(Alice Paul)
When one of the leaders, Alice Paul, embarked on a hunger strike, they tied her to a chair, forced a tube down her throat and poured liquid into her until she vomited. She was tortured like this for weeks until word was smuggled out to the press.
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All women who have ever voted, have ever owned property, have ever enjoyed equal rights need to remember that women’s rights had to be fought for in Canada as well. Do our daughters and our sisters know the price that was paid to earn rights for women here, in North America?
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2009 is the 80th Anniversary of the Persons Case in Canada, which finally declared women in Canada to be Persons!

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Please, if you are so inclined, pass this on to all the women you know, so that we remember to celebrate the rights we enjoy.
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“Knowledge is Freedom: hide it, and it withers; share it, and it blooms” (P. Hill)
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A new acquaintance made me aware of this story. I don’t even know the people involved or was aware of their art but I was quit irritated with the situation and felt bad for those involved.

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RemyFX, a Montreal special effects masterful artist, was arrested October 29th because of his work. Well not his work but his personal projects. His now removed from the internet website InnerDepravity was apparently the troublesome matter with Canadian Law officials. He was quoted as saying:

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“I recieved visit from police thursday night, ive been arrested for criminal charge because im the owner and creator of the website InnerDepravity.

They took my computer and i pass the night in cell.

My crime is : Corruption of morality.

we live now in a dictaturship society, we cannot use art as we want, we cannot use horror in art !”

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Good news is his other site, RemyFX, an online portfolio, is still up. I am including bellow a small galery of pictures from Inner Depravity. I am keeping them small in case you cannot stomach such images but if you want to see them full size just click on each thumbnail.

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Now there is a help the cause mission statement with a bit of info created by some of his friends and some discussions going on of Facebook…but I cannot find anywhere anything official of his arrestation. From what I reada some say it is partly the CBSA Policy On The Classification Of Obscene Material or the Prostitution laws protect against ‘moral corruption that are invloved. In my opinion neither are involved since a) no prostituion involved b) its not an import product. Not having the exact charge bugs me in pronouncing my opinion.

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But if he truly was arrested purely for ‘offensive to some’ material…it is complete ridiculous. Yes his scenes are gore and horror related…but its make-up. Its a photo shoot. Its art. Everyone involved is of legal age! Who on other thinks they have the right to draw the line on what is offensive? No children or animals were portrayed! And we see these things all the time in movies.

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And who is next to be accused of immoral and offensive behavior. BDSMers and Fetishists? Do I need to fear going to a play party? I find the whole thing beyond disturbing.

I was recently chatting online with a lovely your unsure female sub of the tender age of 21…wow I am only 35 but 21 seems so far ago. Anyways we were discussing fetishes and she interpreted it in the more conventional sense and mentioned a few ones of hers that made me think…’we are not talking about he same thing’. So I went on to explain to her what, for our community, is a fetish:

In our community a fetish usually involves a sexual arousal from an inanimate object, body part or situation…like a foot, a shoe, a clown, blod, etc. This is the definition of paraphilias. So I looked up online some a-little-out-there fetishes. Found a great article on it called Top 10 Weird Sexual Fetishes and Paraphilias. This is their list:

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Formicophilia

This is deriving sexual pleasure from insects crawling on the body, specifically on the genitals. It is more common in developing countries, perhaps because homes are infested with insects. This could lead to an individual’s genitals being exposed to insects (especially if they have outdoor bathrooms, as many developing countries do), and if this happens at a young age when they are sexually developing, they may derive pleasure from it.

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Plushophilia

Perhaps liking one of your stuffed animals a little too much as a child can lead to this fetish. It is being sexually attracted to stuffed animals or people dressed in animal costumes. Some plushophiles like to masturbate using small stuffed animals, and some like to dress up in costumes and have sex with others wearing costumes. Someone who is into bestiality, but doesn’t want to actually have sex with animals could also enjoy this fetish.

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Vorarephilia

This is arousal by the thought of being eaten by someone, eating someone else, or watching someone eat somebody else. It is called “vore” for short. Perhaps this is related to cannibalism, but how someone develops a fetish like this, I really could not even speculate upon. It involves pure fantasy (at least hopefully it does), since it would be very difficult to make any of the aforementioned situations reality.

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Inflatophilia

This fetish can vary in what the inflatophile enjoys. It can be an attraction to inflatable animals and toys, deriving sexual pleasure from wearing inflatable suits, or just being aroused from the thought of people inflating like balloons. Perhaps an inflatophile could enjoy the company of a blow-up doll a little too much. This is another fetish that any psychologist would probably have a hard time explaining.

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Erotic asphyxia

This is a dangerous practice wherein a person enjoys cutting off their air supply while having sex or masturbating. Those who practice this fetish claim that it makes orgasms more enjoyable, but sometimes they can’t get the rope, belt, or seatbelt that they use to strangle themselves

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Robot fetishism

This is a fantasy that involves the thought of having sex with a robot, having sex dressed as robots, or having sex with a person who is transformed into a robot. I’m sure that there are many geeks out there who fantasize about having sex with a perfect android woman, but this fetish can also involve fantasizing about having sex with a non-humanoid robot. I guess someone who really loves technology or science fiction could be into this.

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Burusera

This is a Japanese term for a panty fetish. It is an extremely prevalent fetish in Japan. There are burusera shops in Japan that sell used schoolgirls’ panties, and there even used to be vending machines on the streets where men could buy them. The men buy them to smell them. Since laws have been passed forbidding this practice with girls under the age of eighteen, young girls have still profited off of the practice by letting men pay them to simply sniff their panties under their skirts while they are wearing them. I have no idea why this has become so popular in Japan. Maybe they really enjoy their fish there? (Sorry, horrible joke.)

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Erotic lactation

This is simply the breastfeeding of an adult by a lactating woman for sexual arousal. Nipple stimulation during sex is widely practiced, but erotic lactation is much more taboo. Perhaps it gives the male in the relationship a sense of security (or maybe he just gets curious about what breast milk tastes like and decides he likes it). It’s a bit strange that nipple stimulation is a turn-on for women when their main purpose is for feeding babies, but I guess evolution has some reason for it.

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Klismaphilia

This is deriving sexual pleasure from receiving an enema. It’s not too surprising that people can get aroused from it, especially if they enjoy anal sex. A klismaphile may also enjoy pornographic films that portray someone receiving an enema and deriving sexual pleasure from it.

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Hybristophilia

This is often known as the Bonnie and Clyde Syndrome. It is a sexual attraction to someone who has committed a gruesome crime. Many inmates who are imprisoned for outrageous crimes receive love letters from women. It’s a very odd phenomenon. I guess the average bad boy isn’t enough for women who are hybristophiles.

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Following the presentation of a revitalization plan of the Quadrilatère Saint-Laurent:
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http://www2.ville.montreal.qc.ca/ldvdm/jsp/ocpm/ocpm.jsp?laPage=projet38.jsp
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We’ve formed an artistic coalition with the objective of promoting our rights and assets in order to conciliate the colorfulness of Montreal’s “Red Light” district with the proposed plan of erecting an administrative office building within an area designated as Quartier des Spectacles de Montréal.
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Help us integrate the creative spirit of the last 5 years at Cabaret Cleo’s within a constructive, honest and positive plan to revitalize Montreal’s legendary Main.
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A lecture of memorandums and a presentation of our petition will be held Tuesday June 9th at the ballroom of Hôtel Holiday Inn Select, 99 Viger ave. W. (corner St-Urbain), Place-d’Armes metro.
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You can read and sign the petition at:
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http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/spectacles/
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You can also download a PDF version at:
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http://clubsin.ca/09/petitionuksecure.pdf
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Our petition will be presented to Société de développement Angus (SDA), officials of the Ville de Montréal as well as the Office de consultation publique de Montréal (OCPM) and Conseil du Patrimoine de Montréal.
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You can sign the petition Saturday June 6th starting a 8pm on the occasion of a Friends of Cabaret Cleo rally event (1230 St-Laurent, 2nd floor).
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The event will also feature lectures, entertainment and performances. Be there!
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Rant of the day:
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Ever heard of the site dontdatehimgirl?
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A site where women can write about horrible examples of so called excuses of manhood. The bastard cheaters, liars, supposedly single, etc, etc, etc…
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God I wish there was such a list for subs. If it was not a guaranteed lawsuit in the making I would be so on it! Imagine saving time on ignoring a looser sub wannabe. I think I could fill a column up right away.
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Mystress Lady Evyl
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PS pic taken online, not an actual target of the list lol
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x-posted from Kinky Sex Link
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I have been a long time fan of the Open Source Sex podcast done by Violet Blue. She is a San Francisco sex educator, writer, editor, xxx film critic and overall great pervert. I love her podcast not just because of the material but especially the way in which she talks to her audience in an intelligent mature way. There is no dumming down of the listener. Unfortunately she does podcasts a lot less often.
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I did just listen to her last one and I strongly suggest anyone who blogs online to listen to it. Its about 1h15min long but fascinating. She talks on a panel with other experts about personal privacy and people blogging or posting online, particularly on a sexual topic. You think you picked a private username and you are safe…but you are wrong. Informing yourself is the best protection!
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Open Source Sex: Episode 64

Can anyone really be sexually anonymous online? Being outed, thinking you’re “anonymous”, trolls and stalkers taking advantage of online communities, porn laws resulting in performers being stalked, Google’s history logs tracking all of us, and paying for adult goods and services online safely: Internet sexual privacy affects everyone – and our rights. This panel brings together a spectrum of views on sexual privacy and identity, including controversial sex bloggers, a cyberlaw expert and a hacker who works for a social networking site. We’ll discuss and demonstrate how easy it is to lose control of your sexual identity online – and how to get it back, or keep it intact in the first place. You don’t have to be a sex blogger, answer the wrong Craigslist ad, or order a vibrator online to have your sexual identity messed with – sometimes all you need to be is female, LGBT, or just make a simple mistake when you hit “send”. The consequences can be devastating. We will explore what obstacles face maintaining personal privacy, including bad or unsympathetic online community management, system and social exploits (like Craigslist baiting and outing), stalkers and trolls, the legal aspects of sexual privacy online and their application for individuals, and what you can do to keep your sexual privacy, private.

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This affects me and all us BDSM or Sex bloggers directly. Its really worth the listen
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Mystress Lady Evyl
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Not everyone may be aware of this but Fetlife got some interesting publicity in Europe last week. It was not good publicity, nor was it direct bad publicity…but it certainly proves that even bad publicity works.
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So the story goes a young British women had her pics hijacked from her Facebook account and pics were worked onto naked women’s pics. These pics were posted on a fake profile on Fetlife were it claimed she was a porn star and would do anything to get famous as such. Ok, so far its a normal concern that can happen.
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Now this is where it gets nasty though. Does she contact JohnBaku at Fetlife? NO, of course not. She contacts the British press instead and makes a headline of herself across the UK and Italy. Yeah no one is seeking attention there. Poor baby claims to be publicly humiliated…well perhaps the press would help cleanse this humiliation by advertising it around the world?
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Still, in my mind, this is not the best part. Are you ready for it? Fetlife is denounced around Europe…as a sex website. Great, so one more time bdsm and fetish gets associated with the sexual perversion factor. Thanks Becky! As a Fetlife greeter you can imagine what happened next. Yep, over 600 new members in one day, mostly Europeans, looking for this profile. Again, bad publicity is still publicity. Maybe a handful will take the time to check the site out well and get proper education to our lifestyle. But not many I am sure.
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So in the end John deleted the profile within minutes of being contact by a British journalist, no laws were broken so Fetlife will not suffer any consequences, and one more time we are reminded how people will do anything to be in the public eye and try to make a buck.
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Lady Evyl
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I had a very interesting topic brought up today with a fellow life styler friend: Religion and BDSM. Talk about a touchy subject. And its not the first time it has come up. But it certainly got me thinking more about the relationship personal beliefs and our life style.
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I do not consider myself a religious person but a spiritual one, and pretty much a non practicing spiritualist. I am a Christian on paper. So I can safely say at this time in my life my personal belief are not in conflict with my BDSM practice. Is that the case for you? I did a little research on the world’s biggest religions theories and here is what I found on the web:
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Well a lot of sites mention the fact that Christians first and foremost submit themselves to Jesus and God, as Jesus did to God himself. I came across a lot of scriptures that reinforce this, a lot of scriptures mentioning how wives should submit to their husbands. Ahum….got an issue there. That is great if its a M/female sub. What about us Femdoms? Only thing I found said it is OK for a man to submit physically to his wife but the man remains spiritual head of household….that is a lot of BS. Just as the Church manipulated its followers throughout history through their submission….seems to me like Christian BDSMers still enjoy the patriarch aspect protection it can give them. Other examples of BDSM practices in Christianity: flagellant monks could inflict grievous wounds on their own bodies and believe themselves closer to heaven; Forgive me Father; the Inquisition!
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Now here is a definition of Buddhism: …holding that life is full of suffering caused by desire and that the way to end this suffering is through enlightenment that enables one to halt the endless sequence of births and deaths to which one is otherwise subject. Buddhism is most concerned with whether an action is helpful, based on good intentions, and freedom from harm. Thus, a specific act can sometimes be either permissible or not permissible, depending upon its context. What is frowned upon is sexual misconduct: adultery, child molestation, incest, rape, sexual abuse in any form, and sexual harassment. Consensual sexual activity by a committed couple is not misconduct, whether engaged in by a heterosexual or homosexual couple. For BDSM, it is interpreted that if both parties are consensual and that the Dominant is respectful, not looking to just harm and sincere in proper training then it is acceptable to Buddhism.
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Islam, now this an interesting one. I have found through emails I have gotten from various profiles hat there is a HUGE amount of Muslim men wanting to submit to a dominant woman. Kind of goes against what we think, I know. My new boy is a Muslim. And ever here of the Latex Lady? She is a 24/7 submissive who wears latex burkas…..all the time. She is a very intelligent woman with a PhD in Educational Theory, she and her husband/Master are latex fetishists, she is bisexual. Again, totally against what we imagine. Now in this religion sexual relations are confined to marriage between a wife and a husband. Sexual health is considered important, it is not just for procreation. Sexual dissatisfaction are considered grounds for divorce. I could not find anything definitive on BDSM but Islam does consider self harm, anal sex and homosexuality as prohibited acts. Flogging is still used as punishment for such crimes as drinking alcohol. Again, nothing definitive on Islam and BDSM…..but it definitely happens behind closed doors.
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Lets now take a look at Judaism. There is nothing in the Torah that prohibits the practice of BDSM, as long as there is no force involved i.e. all parties consensual. Apparently this question was asked twice on Askarabbi.com. The first answer was the one above. The second was “that just because something is consensual doesn’t make it OK: “to humiliate another human being or degrade the equality of a marriage would be frowned upon by Jewish law”. Well if you are a life styler then you know that second comment is obviously written by someone which knows nothing about BDSM. This person sees BDSM as a form of degradation. Yes there may be some acts that the majority of the population may interpret as degrading on face value, but that is not the purpose of the act.
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Tantric Sex and Kama Sutra anyone? Hinduism is probably the most liberated of all the religions discussed here when it comes to sexual views. Even homosexuality, which is not necessarily well seen everywhere, is not clearly rejected in Hindu religious text.”Hindus believe love and devotion are important in attaining Moksha or Liberation from the cycle of rebirths.”…hmm…devotion you say. Sex is considered divine but only between a married couple. Again, I could not find any clear info on the web about Hinduism and BDSM. But considering the more lax attitude between a loving couple I assume BDSM can be practiced easily enough for those of this fate…perhaps also behind closed doors though. Another interesting note here though are Fakirs. They are both revered and feared, considered holy men with supernatural powers. And they use pain (nail beds, walking on shards of glass, being pierced with hooks and needles) as ways to get to a higher spiritual level…sort of like subspace?
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Again, I want to mention I tried my best to use basic theoretical information about religions, not what leaders or the common folk has interpreted. What does this all mean to you? How do you feel about your practice? How do feel about other’s specific practices? My friend mentioned above came across a text that offended her personal beliefs. I have read that text she reacted to: it was shocking, really not my cup of tea, it definitely shakes the core of personal ethics. but there was nothing illegal about that situation. So she and I have no choice but to accept the writer’s text. I know a Muslim who commonly uses the expression “catholic guilt” every time he releases during orgasm. I say as long as things remain Safe, Sane and Consensual, and LEGAL, we have to give people the right to practice that they like. Even if we disagree with it. Under those right circumstances we have to remove the word shame from our vocabulary.
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What makes our community so strong is our great ability to accept people as they are.
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Mystress Lady Evyl
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