Today I would like to talk to you about a toy unlike anything I would normally show here. How so? Well it is probably the plainest, most vanilla, blandest looking toy I have ever reviewed. But as they say never judge a book by it’s cover. I did not choose to review this toy for my sexual benefit at all, I chose it because I really think it is a tool that can be very helpful to some women out there.I wanted this post to be more about sexual empowerment and breaking taboo barriers…in some small way. Of course being the perv that I am I also found a way to incorporate it into a BDSM environment he he (see end of post for that).

Let me introduce you to the Vibrating Dilator Set, a design part of the Berman Center Intimate Accessories Collection. Yes, it is plain, it is pink, it is very plastic. This toy was truly conceived, like all Bergman toys, to appeal to the vanilla, sexually unexplorative little house wive-like type of people who think the closest they ever will come to kink is a hair gone awry on their head. This vibrator serves its purpose by not being threatening. Why? Because it is primarily designed for women who may have medical issues on a sexual level.

Why dilator? A dilator induces dilation…or stretching…of a tight, scared or traumatized hole. One starts small and as the body adjusts one can move on to a bigger size…once the body and the mind is ready to accept it. The Vibrating Dilator Set is ideal for someone who experiences pain during intercourse; suffers from sexual anxiety; wants to strengthen their pelvic floor; or maybe just had an operation or a baby and the vaginal area is super sensitive.

The design I have to admit is very clever. The core piece is the vibe (takes two AA batteries) motor and the smallest insertable part which is 0.75″ X 3.5″. There are 3 larger shafts that can be attached with an interlocking system, like feet that you slide in, at the bottom. The sizes are  1″ x 4.5″, then 1.25″ x 5.5″, and finally 1.5″ x 6.25″. One can use this toy with or without vibration but usually the vibrations help to relax the muscles and makes the experience more pleasurable. The vibrations go from low to high gradually – just turn the cap at the end of the handle accordingly. A silicone blend sleeve with nubs is included in the kit…just slip it over the sleeves for added sensation. Finally a violet chiffon like pouch comes with it for storage. Since it is see threw it’s not exactly discreet but it is very girly.

So it may look boring but it is a wonderful toy if women can gain confidence in themselves and sexually. A healthy sexual life is so important o one’s overall health, kudos for developing a toy that can help on that level. I just have two concerns. The first is that I find hard plastic hurts after a while, at least for me the vibrations feel hard at some point. Second I wonder if the little plastic feet that attach a shaft to the core piece may break off after a while.

What I have to say from my personal experience with this toy: the small shaft equates a bullet so nice for clitoral and as far as vaginal penetration I like it big so largest shaft for me it is. BUT, as I said before, you can easily take this toys into a BDSM scene too. Know what it is great for too? Anal dilation! It is the perfect tool to have your bottom get used to anal play if they are starting and zero experience. Just make sure to use a condom every time if you take this toy through the back door.

To clean your Vibrating Dilator Set just use antibacterial soap and warm water. Do not submerge the motor part and make sure the cap is screwed on tightly prior to cleaning. Keep in mind the sleeve is a silicone BLEND so it is porous. You cannot completely sterilize this toy so using a condom with it is not a bad idea. On its own you can use any lube, but with the sleeve in use only use water based lubricant.

Specs:

• Small Vibrating Dilator
• 3 Interlocking Graduated Sizes
• Soft Silicone Blend Sleeve
• Power: 2x AA batteries
• Materials: hard plastic and silicone blend (sleeve)

Thank you to the lovely people at Goodvibes.com who sent me this toy for review

A big concern many sex toy owners have is to have their stash found out. Could be the kids, guest, cleaning lady, family…hey even a robber! Being caught with ‘pervert toys’ can make a situation quite awkward. So how do you prevent such a discovery from happening? How about getting a great Lockable Large Vibrator Case.

This case is very discreet and you can put it away in your closet or even leave it out on the night table. Chances are no one will be the wiser (unless they own one too). This sturdy case has inner dimensions of approximately 11.5 inches long, 3 1/2 inches wide and 3 1/2 inches tall. The outside is a matte black and the contours and edges are made of a matte silver metal. The handle makes it very practical to carry around and to keep your toys secure from prying hands there is a combination lock on it. Once you get the box just set your desired secret code into the lock.And don’t forget it!

The inside is lined with a plastic vinyl.  Now this case is obviously not Fort Knox but it will keep your secret pleasures away from curious folks. Trust me if someone opens it it’s because they made the effort. Besides hiding your toys the Lockable Large Vibrator Case is ideal for keeping your toys safe clean and dust-free.

So my first impression of this box was how small it looked. I was convinced not many toys could fit inside. Well I took it for a storage test drive and I was proven wrong. It actually can hold quite a bit. It will hold toys up to 11 inches long. I could easily fit in 2 vibrators, 1 dildo, a hand held wand and a butt plug. There was room for a few more small items. This would satisfy most people’s sex toy storage needs easily. This case is definitely a good investment and I recommend it.

Thank you to Pinkcherry.ca for letting me review this toy!

Sorry, this is not going to be a story about a hot romp in bed he he. Today I will talk to you about some really cool re-usable instant heat pads called Hot Love that are available at Eden Fantasys. Oh alright! So there will be a bit of BDSM talk later as I did use them in a scene with my sub muzhik.

I know the words heating pad and sexuality do not immediately pair up. But they can! These palm sized vinyl circular bags turn instantly into a great massage and sensory toy just by snapping the disk inside. Sold as a pair, you can use both as a great way to sooth away tired achy muscle on yourself or your partner during an erotic massage. Perhaps one of you gets turned on by temperature play. Just place these disks on your hot buttons to get you even hotter. Or you can go the other way completely and throw the Hot Love pads in the freezmer for a couple of hours and use them as shiver inducing love disks. If you are into medical role play they are a must to you medical gear.

Of course you could also use them in non sexual ways when need be: to sooth an injury with heat or cold; to keep those fingers warm inside your gloves on a cold winter day or a cold camping night under the stars; to help with your PMS cramps, to loosen up a stiff neck or back; and any other use you can think of. In other words they can be used by anybody, on any part of the body, and in almost any circumstances. The pads are small so you can take them anywhere with you: purse, pocket, gym bag, naughty bag, luggage, etc. They are totally discreet.

So what are they? These vinyl pads are filled with a non toxic sodium acetate (salt) and water, and also contain a small  metal disc.  Without getting to science-geek on you, when this disc is clicked (snapped, bent, flexed)  a chemical reaction takes place where the super saturated sodium crystallizes. The heat is generated by the energy released for crystallizing the sodium. This process spreads to the whole solution and you have a heating pad ready to use in 5 seconds top.

The circular pads have a diameter of 3.75 inches/10 cm and are about 1/2 inch / 15 mm thick. The disc inside is about 1/2 inch / 15 mm in diameter. The Hot Love pads are a transparent pink. Each have a single word printed in white on them: Kisses and Hugs. They have a mat plastic texture and the vinyl is quite thick. When in liquid form they are squishy and when activated they get hard.

They can be re-sued over and over again as long as the vinyl shell is in good condition and no liquid is leaking. Should it tear, wear or get punctured they remain extremely safe since the content is completely non-toxic: its just salt and water. But they are really made tough so don’t worry about breaking them. The pad will stay at this highest heat for up to 30-40 minutes and then slowly cool down, taking anywhere from 2 to 6 hours. The highest temperature that can be reached is 130 degrees F / 54 C. I read somewhere if you put the pad in hot water a few minutes before activating it the pads will stay at optimal heat much longer.

Once cooled they will remain in a stiff crystallized state. To return the pad to its original gel state, simply pop it into boiling water for 5 – 10 minutes until the crystals inside have completely melted. Let them cool and at this point the Hot Love pads are ready to be used again.

Do keep in mind thought that the pads should not be used on areas that are swollen or bruised when hot as you could aggravate an existing injury. Also do not leave the activated Hot Love pads on one area too long as you could burn the skin with excessive heat exposure.

You can used the pads with either a lotion or water based lube. I would not recommend using it with silicone lube. Keeping them clean is very easy, just wash them in warm water with antibacterial soap. Also when you will boil the pads to bring them back to a gel state it will help to kill any bacteria on it. However do keep in mind the pads are made of a very porous material so technically you could pass on a bacteria or an STD if both parties made bodily fluid contact with the pads. So if you plan on using them intimately I would recommend not sharing. Finally, always store them in a gel state since the water can evaporate over time if left in a crystal state.

Now I did use them in an unusual way. As mentioned before, these pads were part of 1 of 5 mystery boxes when muzhik was visiting. I had set up a mummification scene with saran warp and these pads. I activated them, place 1 on each nipple, 1 in the ass crack and one on his balls. Then I wrapped him up. Well that is when I found out how hot they can get. Eventually muzhik called a red on the pads. I cut them outwith scissors from the saran wrap (I was not going to waste a perfectly good mummification) and got some ice to sooth (and torture) him. We got them out soon enough not to cause harm. But believe me when I say they can burn if left in one place too long. I did use them on myself as a massage tool to relieve tension in a shoulder with a bit of massage lotion. It really worked wonders.

I really like these Hot Love pads and will get 2 more. I think 4 pads are a minimum to own.

A little while back I wrote a blog about how I wanted to start offering workshops to small groups about various topics within our alternative lifestyle. Well the timing of my plans and the new ALCC could not have been more perfect!

The Alternative Lifestyle Community Center (Centre Communautaire pour les styles de vie Alternatifs de Montréal) is a free and open space where like minded individuals can meet, share, learn, build and create meaningful relationships, discover, and seek information without fear, judgment, or discrimination.

Last night I attended the grand opening and it was a huge success. I could only come for a short while and got there very early. I expected the place to be quiet. I was wrong…at 5h20pm the place was already packed. Such a great sign for the future! Countess Allura, a fabulous wonderful lady I am happy to call my friend, is the founder of this center. Amazing my dear! I am so proud of you!

And yes of course I will be giving my workshops here. I am very excited. I already have dates on the schedule. So COME SEE ME AT MY WORKSHOPS.

Wednesday, May 12

7-8pm: What is Protocol – Lady Evyl (English)

Wednesday, May 26

7-8pm: C’est quoi le Protocol – Lady Evyl (Français)

Wednesday, June 9

7-8pm: Let’s Have a Ball -CBT Intro – Lady Evyl (English)

Wednesday, June 16

7-8pm: On s’amuse avec les boules – Intro au CBT – Lady Evyl (Français)

More about the Alternative Lifestyle Community:

We provide information, education, counseling, socialization, and support through activities, workshops, seminars, discussion groups, certified psychologists, drop-in hours, and resource materials.

We welcome all people 18 years of age or older from any religion, culture, spirituality, race, age, distinction, minority, majority, orientation, identity, preference, sexuality, that may be curious about, questioning, or living an alternative lifestyle. We also welcome those who are concerned, opposing, or uncertain about alternative lifestyles and encourage you to come to the center to learn more.

We encourage you to drop by and ask questions, familiarize yourself with the various activities being offered at the center, or simply sit on our comfy couch and read some of the literature we have available.

The center is YOUR place to call your own and feel welcome.

Although I have been considering this for some time and have discussed with a select group of people, this does remain my first public announcement of my project in works. I am planning on offering private workshops for small groups.

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This past year has been a very educational year for me in the BDSM scene. Of course as any good Master or Mistress I keep up to date and try to learn, but what I mean is this year I started giving public workshops and demos. I was asked to give some of these and they were all a  success. I also really enjoy the experience of teaching and learning from others.

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However what I did not like for the Montreal aspect of these classes is that they were very unstructured, sort of throw last minute and irregular.Why is it the case? Well one reason I think is the up-swing fashionable Fetish scene has been overtaking the BDSM scene. True BDSM locals have become sparse and few or less accessible without a car. I know I am rambling now, sorry, its a bit of chip on my shoulder.

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Now I am not alone in offering workshops in Montreal at all, there are a few great teachers in Montreal. But there is no structure or local for it. This I find beyond frustrating. Also these were all without remuneration. Now I am not saying I want to make a huge amount of cash from it, but preparing a workshop is a lot of work and I do believe a small compensation is a minimum. Its a service like anything else.

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So as mentioned I am working on offering workshops to small groups in a private home. I don’t want to rent a space out to kep costs low and it’s more fun with a small group as there is more interaction. So stay tuned for announcements of a first workshop soon!

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God sometimes my mind is just baffeled when I read messages some subs send. The comments I hear sometimes are outrageous and so funny in their stupidity! Here is the latest one:
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“once I cum It’s hard for me to maintain a submissive status. the game ends then”
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OK so in other words once you got what you want you don’t give a shit anymore about being a sub…gee, I think some slept though D/s 101.
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A while back I toyed with the idea of a BDSM version of don’t date him girl. But I quickly dropped the idea cause it does have a childish, icky feeling to it (although some boys really deserve to be on it). But now I have a new idea. How about just 1 page devoted to stupid comments submissives or dominants may say during online exchanges, both male or female. I am sure I am not the only one that comes across moronic jewels.
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What do you think? Good idea, bad idea? Share some comments to you got in a comment below…keep it anonymous please as to who the pert was!
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Mystress Lady Evyl
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A how to video all men should practice
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Mystress Lady Evyl
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Rant of the day:
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Ever heard of the site dontdatehimgirl?
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A site where women can write about horrible examples of so called excuses of manhood. The bastard cheaters, liars, supposedly single, etc, etc, etc…
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God I wish there was such a list for subs. If it was not a guaranteed lawsuit in the making I would be so on it! Imagine saving time on ignoring a looser sub wannabe. I think I could fill a column up right away.
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Mystress Lady Evyl
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PS pic taken online, not an actual target of the list lol
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I was recently contacted by the editor-in-chief of this quarterly BDSM e-Zine. They asked if I would give them permission to publish an article I wrote on this blog and KSL for the nest issue.
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Well I was more then flattered and gave them permission. Its was released this week.
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I was even more surprised when I realized I was the leading article, the first mentioned at the top. Not bad for my first published experience. Here is the link to my article:Eco Sex and Green BDSM
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Check out the rest of the new issue of The Dominant’s View, its a really interesting e-zine and I am happy to have discovered.
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Happy reading
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Mystress Lady Evyl
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x-posted from Kinky Sex Link
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I have been a long time fan of the Open Source Sex podcast done by Violet Blue. She is a San Francisco sex educator, writer, editor, xxx film critic and overall great pervert. I love her podcast not just because of the material but especially the way in which she talks to her audience in an intelligent mature way. There is no dumming down of the listener. Unfortunately she does podcasts a lot less often.
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I did just listen to her last one and I strongly suggest anyone who blogs online to listen to it. Its about 1h15min long but fascinating. She talks on a panel with other experts about personal privacy and people blogging or posting online, particularly on a sexual topic. You think you picked a private username and you are safe…but you are wrong. Informing yourself is the best protection!
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Open Source Sex: Episode 64

Can anyone really be sexually anonymous online? Being outed, thinking you’re “anonymous”, trolls and stalkers taking advantage of online communities, porn laws resulting in performers being stalked, Google’s history logs tracking all of us, and paying for adult goods and services online safely: Internet sexual privacy affects everyone – and our rights. This panel brings together a spectrum of views on sexual privacy and identity, including controversial sex bloggers, a cyberlaw expert and a hacker who works for a social networking site. We’ll discuss and demonstrate how easy it is to lose control of your sexual identity online – and how to get it back, or keep it intact in the first place. You don’t have to be a sex blogger, answer the wrong Craigslist ad, or order a vibrator online to have your sexual identity messed with – sometimes all you need to be is female, LGBT, or just make a simple mistake when you hit “send”. The consequences can be devastating. We will explore what obstacles face maintaining personal privacy, including bad or unsympathetic online community management, system and social exploits (like Craigslist baiting and outing), stalkers and trolls, the legal aspects of sexual privacy online and their application for individuals, and what you can do to keep your sexual privacy, private.

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This affects me and all us BDSM or Sex bloggers directly. Its really worth the listen
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Mystress Lady Evyl
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